VW Brewery

Here's another great story for all...
HEFEWEIZEN
BREWED GERMAN STYLE IN LEAD, SOUTH DAKOTA

By Gerald F. Mosley

My friend Worthy Glover, ever willing to help as an obedient and thoughtful son, answered the call and request of his mom, Marianna Glover to move a large amount of food storage from his sister Chrissie’s house on Billings Street to his mom’s house on Mine Street in Lead, South Dakota.

I must mention parenthetically that it has long been the admonition from the leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to its members to have large amounts of food storage i.e. beans, powdered milk, wheat, barley, honey, etc. in sufficient quantities to last the member’s family up to one or more years. This basic commodity food is to hold them in good stead in the event of a disaster. Sometimes the food storage is a disaster in and of itself. This is the story of such a disaster.

It didn’t seem like a disaster in the make. It started out innocent enough. Marianna called me and asked me if I could help Worthy move a few items. She informed me that he had worked very hard and just a few more things needed to make the short journey. Now Worthy was my best friend and I could hardly turn down such a request. I met Worthy at Chrissie’s house. Worthy was in the midst of loading fifty-pound cans of wheat into his golden Volkswagen. This is the German connection in this story. That is the German Volkswagen. Got that?

The Volkswagen was a sport utility vehicle before anyone knew such a thing existed. This particular Volkswagen had a roof that retracted and it was possible to have the driver sitting on the back of the seat with his head out the top of the car and steering with his feet while an “accessory after the fact” sat in the passenger seat and stepped on the gas and hopefully the brake pedal. By this method many more passengers and or cargo could be transported. It once carried the entire Lead High School Wrestling team home from practice one night in sub-zero weather. (but that’s another story)

The Volkswagen was already loaded in the front passenger seat and every possible inch of space in the back seat and behind it with green tin cans of wheat, fifty-pound cans of wheat you’ll remember. It remained now to fill the trunk. The trunk on this Volkswagen was in the front, not like modern VW Beetles that have the trunk in the back where all good trunks belong.

The gas tank is also in the trunk, not a good idea in a front-end collision. It also takes up valuable space that could be used for hauling fifty-pound cans of wheat. Worthy and I loaded all the cans of wheat we could fit in the trunk. The hood would not close. The Volkswagen was loaded with at least ten cans of wheat. I suspect there may have been even more because the car was nearly dragging its bottom on the ground. The tires were bulging squatly on their rims, and “the little engine that could” might not make it up Mine Street. I think we tied the hood down so it wouldn’t flop around I stood on the outside of the car on the running board and we started with our load down Billings Street onto Gushurst, chugging mightily up the hill , right turn on Irwin, left on Washington Street, angle right at the intersection of Cyanide Street, crossed Cross Street and up the hill to Mine Street. Now bear in mind that Mine Street is pretty steep and the roads we traveled were rough in spots. We had to pop the clutch several times to get the poor old car to budge. When we arrived at Worthy’s house, to our and his mother’s dismay, several of the cans of wheat had ruptured and spilled their contents into the trunk and open wheel wells of the front of the Volkswagen where it sifted itself into every nook and cranny in there.

We now had a dilemma. Vacuum the spilled wheat and attempt to save it or just sweep it up and throw it away. I must say that as much of it as possible was saved. The remainder in the trunk was a problem. It was a beautiful day in Lead, warm and balmy for January. It occurred to us to get Worthy’s garden hose and flood the trunk and wash all of the wheat out of the main part and out of the spaces in the trunk around the wheels in the fender wells. There was a lot of wheat in there. Many pounds of wheat did in fact wash out. Many pounds of wheat did not. It got cold that night and froze. It did not thaw again until Spring.

In the springtime, the crocuses began to appear in the snow in the neighborhood of the Washington District.

In the dark recesses of the little golden Volkswagen things began to occur that were not anticipated. The wheat, thoroughly soaked the previous winter began to stir. Little wheat germs began to stretch their little wings and push out of their little shells. The wheat sprouted. In the industry this is called malting. When barley or wheat is malted it becomes richer and more capable of fermentation. The protein count rises and the sugars blend. The little malted wheat berries put down roots. Natural yeasts and molds begin to take their part in the process. They become very aromatic and the smell is of a brewery. This rolling brewery could be detected by anyone it passed and by cars following behind up to a couple hundred feet. We needed this little car. It took us everywhere. Many people rode in this little car including certain people of the female persuasion. It was not good for a Mormon boy and certain friends some tee-totalers and some definitely not tee-totalers to be associated with the fragrant smell of fresh brewed beer. Worthy attempted to wash out the trunk again and again. Great clumps of sprouted wheat would wash out and float down the road. It was to no avail. It usually started the process anew and a fresh batch of hefeweizen appeared. Green sheaves of wheat began to poke out of various cracks in the trunk and elswhere. These were yanked out by their roots and swiftly dispatched. It was like trying to shear a giant chia-pet. Growing wheat also appeared in the back seat and rear window of the car.

Finally, the heat of summer removed the last vestiges of moisture from the growing wheat. Mold and bacteria extracted all the nutrients. We felt lucky it didn’t grow mushrooms. The golden Volkswagen was again “on the wagon”. The footnote is from Wikipedia. Please see below.
Wheat beer
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German WeißbierWheat beer is a beer that is brewed with a significant proportion of wheat. Wheat beers often also contain a significant proportion of malted barley. Wheat beers are usually top-fermented (in Germany they have to be by law).[1] The flavour of wheat beers varies considerably, depending upon the specific style.

Post Script... Gail didn't think the story about the cows was true but this one certainly was. I don't know whether my Wheat turned to beer or not but the mice certainly enjoyed the feast. They would crawl down in the sideboards and gorge themselves with the fermented wheat and then get bloated and die. The combined smell of the rotting wheat and dead mice made riding in my VW bug quite unbearable for a time. (Gail says I should not post my blogs too soon after the last one because people won't have time to read them between posts. Well I either don't post for months on end or I post a couple of times a week. Sorry.)